Far From Perfect
by FadamRoxs
Summary: I want him to see me still as the perfect princess, even though I know as a matter a fact that I am far from perfect.I will never be perfect, but through his eyes I am everything he wants. One-Shot; During When Love Takes Over. Fiona's after Adam leaves.


**Hey!  
So I decided to make this one shot because I was curious to what Fiona thought about her being an alcoholic and how it affected her and Adam. This is just her thoughts.**

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Why did I have to be abused? Why did I have to resort to drinking? Why did I have to be so crazy? Why did I have terrible luck in relationships? Why did I have to become an alcoholic?

**I have never lived a normal life, and I am definitely not starting one now. Today my best friend, mom, and my complicated relationship boyfriend brought me to this intervention. I thought I was fine but apparently I am not. Turns out I have become too comfortable to alcohol that I always need it in my system. Today I, Fiona Coyne, have now been named as an alcoholic.**

I was never that into drinking. It all started when I had to deal with this trail. Bobby Beckonridge had to come into my life, abused me, and led me to alcoholism. I can't completely blame him for my actions; I was the one who decided self medication was a better option than pills.

At first I thought pills were the definition of crazy, but now I know it's normal. Even though I did stop drinking when Holly J had given me my prescribed medications; I have always felt the urge to drink.

Sitting here waiting for Holly J to give me my stuff to go to rehab has led me to thinking.

I guess my alcoholism did arrive when I have found it the only way to escape; now I know that was very wrong.

I was fine for a while after the whole self medication incident, but soon it started again. I still had until April for the court case to be held, but something else in my mind made me drink again.

I had met Adam Torres. He was a sweet, genuine, cute sophomore.

When I met Adam I did have some sort of connection to him. I felt like I could be honest with him, even though we had only talked for about 2 minutes.

I didn't know that it was soon going to turn into more.

I have to admit I did have some sort of crush on him, even though I didn't make it that noticeable. I knew he had liked me back because he had showed it.

He viewed me as the perfect princess, which was the complete opposite of what I am. When he threw me the party because I was missing one in New York; I knew I didn't deserve him, but I still wanted him.

One thing leads to another and we started a drunken relationship, me as the drunk. I was always drinking when I was around him, and I didn't know why.

I guess it just made me feel good, but Adam made me feel safe and protected.

Now I just regret the drinking all together.

He liked, not just liked, he loved, me for who I am. Even though this is true I still drank and drank. He grew worried and brought me here.

_"Tell him to leave. I never want to see him again."_

These words buzzed through my mind because I had not meant them. I want him with me, holding my hand, and soothing me with his words saying everything will be fine. But I snapped back to the reality and realized that I was the one who had made him leave.

My drinking and insecurities had just ruined the only real, great relationship I had ever had.

Now he was gone and probably hates me for breaking his heart.

New tears are now flowing down my eyes. I have smeared my eyeliner by crying. My mother is trying to wipe them away but I push her hand back. I want these tears to stay marked on my face forever. I deserve this pain. I hurt Adam. My mother and best friend are worried. My brother is god knows where, and my father is probably in a business meeting.

I look down at my skirt. We never even had a first date and we have already been through a lot. From my drinking, to love, to rehab, and finally to hurt. I have realized I had hurt Adam various times: the party, the drinking, the 'let's pretend it never happened', the 'drinking makes it easier to be with you', and finally the 'I never want to see you again.'

How can a socialite senior fall for a shy sophomore? People may ask this, but I know deep in my heart all does reasons we shouldn't be together don't matter to us. The only thing that had ruined our relationship was me.

When I come back from rehab I want him to see me still as the perfect princess, even though I know as a matter a fact that I am far from perfect. I will never be perfect, but through his eyes I am everything he wants.

Adam Torres might still hate me right now, but I am still in love with him.

I just hope he feels the same way I feel about him when we see each other again.

_Why can't I ever be happy?_

**so what ya think? Please review! if i get 15 comments i will make a sequel kinda thing that will also be a one shot!  
-i'm out johanna**


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